I hate to make plans or long term commitments, I never know if today will be the day I decide I’ve had enough and just end it all. I’m more concerned about disappointing the ones I’ve made the commitment to rather than the disappointment of others by ending my life. Apparently my priorities are screwed up.
Checked one of the job boards I have my résumé on and found that my résumé has shown up in a 157 searches and only viewed 55 times and that’s only one of the three job boards I’m on. And in the 100 plus jobs I’ve applied for I’m getting rather discouraged about life.
Checked my bank account and found that I only have enough rent money for 3-4 months and no money for essentials like food, water and electricity.
I’m on the verge of another breakdown and who knows if I’ll survive that one, part of me hopes that I don’t.