If you don’t find your soulmate while alive on earth do you find them in the next life?
I feel myself falling back into the pit. I’m closing out my friends, I have no desire to talk to anyone or doing anything I just want to lay in bed all day and sleep. While it’s a wish I know I can’t because the are people who depend on my full do the things I need to do. I just wish there was a time for me to do what I want and have no expectations from anyone else.
Why do I continue to chase the ones that have torn my heart out? Or the ones that are not interested? the ones always out of reach? Why do I always get my heart broken while everyone else gets to be happy. Why am I always the one left alone.
Today is one of those days when my brain is feeling me to stop existing. I’m growing tired of fighting this demon, it seems to get stronger everytime. I UAE to be able to block it out, tell it to leave me alone, tell it to shut up but those coping skills aren’t working for me. I keep busy, play the music loud, try to sing along but it just isn’t working out the thoughts anymore and it makes my heart heavy. Oh well on with my day.
The past three days have been a battle of living or giving up. While up Friday in a good mood than within a half hour my mindset changed and mood plummeted. I hate this fight!