As we move closer to Christmas, a holiday I don’t celebrate anymore I tend to self medicate more. I do this to help me deal with the fact I am alone in this world and have been for years even though I was in a relationship for 16 years. I feel the most alone when I go to bed and have to sleep with the TV on just to give me some sort of comfort.
I’ve been asked by friends and loved ones wanting to help asking what had caused my depressive mood on any given day. Sadly I don’t have an answer for this I wish I did I. I can however explain how I feel, imagine waking up every day and the first feeling you have is the sense your heart has been completely broken and there’s nothing you can do about it.
are a lie life doesn’t work that way.
If you don’t find your soulmate while alive on earth do you find them in the next life?
I love the days when all I can think about is ending it all and not having anyone to distract me and I don’t want anyone to.
Why do I continue to chase the ones that have torn my heart out? Or the ones that are not interested? the ones always out of reach? Why do I always get my heart broken while everyone else gets to be happy. Why am I always the one left alone.
There are times I just want to post on Facebook asking my friends if anyone wants to come over and cuddle. I fear I won’t get a response or the “I would if I could but…” Why bother?