Today was the last day of TMS treatment. While I’m still not where I wanted to be after treatment there have been some major gains.
The biggest gain is that the little voice in my head telling me to kill myself has been quieted significantly! While I don’t think it’ll ever fully go away it is not a persistent thought pattern. The other big change is I no longer have the urge to self medicate by drinking myself to oblivion, these days I’m fine with having just one beer and that’s it.
I am hoping that once I find steady employment and have money coming in more happiness will follow. Until then I’ll keep going to group therapy and see my one on one therapist on Saturdays for as long as needed.