So I’ve realized a major flaw in my therapy and it’s me.
I’ve been living with my depression and whatnot for over 40 years. I’ve kept it hidden to the best of my ability from friends and familybecause I didn’t want them to pity me or for me to be a burden to them or worst case scenario people walking away because they don’t want to or know how to deal with it.
So back to me being the flaw. While I am now often and honest about everything and I do participate on group I’m still protecting myself to my own detriment. How so you ask? Probably not but I’ll tell you anyway. I’m too smart (or stupid) for my own good.
Having researched my mental health issues for so long as well as psychology and psychiatry I know the things to say to make the therapist think I’m making progress, this is how I got out of the hospital. While I do want to get better and be done semblance of “normal” I make it hard on myself to get there by not admitting I’m not really where they think I am or should be. I have no one to blame but myself and it’s something I need to work on.