Positive Thoughts.

I have a problem it’s positive thoughts and memes with positive thoughts. When I see the “you’re stronger than this”, “you’re cared for”, “you’re loved” it just goes into my thought process as blah, blah, blah, they’re just words.

Maybe I feel that way because to me the mental health onset saturates it. Yes, I know there agree people there who need hear those words but for me they just don’t work.

I don’t have a positive outlook on life for myself. It is something we’re working on in therapy but the really haven’t been any progress and I realize that’s my fault. I have had to many people in my life tell me I’m a great person just to have them walk out on me and make me think otherwise.

Maybe it’s because I was told I was nothing, I was ugly, I wouldn’t amount to anything. Maybe it’s because I was beaten by my brother who’s five years older than me and grandmother since I was 5 and maybe before than. Maybe it’s because my mother wasn’t around much in my youth because she had to work two jobs in order to take care of us. Who knows the reason.

Either way it’s hard for me to believe these words when I can’t believe in myself.

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